Say Goodnight To Drinking……………

14 Sep

This is the part of the night where we all wish we had the ability to teleport or at least have the ability to teleport prime possum to your immediate location so he could lift you up and carry you off to the land of nod.

Well, this plain and simply is not going to happen……so let’s set the scene!

Suddenly it is the early a.m’s of a new day. You are not sure where the last few hours went, but as they say time flies when you are having fun.

But now you are not having so much fun. That girl that you were dancing with has gone home or decided that dancing with someone who recently walked into a table or spilt his drink over someone or vomited discretely (not so) into a bush is not so compelling. Your friends have either said goodnight, left the party, or are as equally unappealing as yourself and all you want to do is be curled up in bed, warm and comfortable (insert teleport device/prime possum here).

Why did you keep on drinking you ask yourself, why didn’t you just stop at a few. But most importantly, why isn’t your body cooperating with your brain anymore. It felt fine after a few drinks, but now that many have been shared………….. WHERE IS MY MIND (Pixies reference).

You feel like a new borne calf learning to walk for the first time. But funnily enough, even though you may be walking into objects that can be seen from 14k.m’s away, having two conversations-one with yourself and the other with someone who has no idea or interest as to what you are saying, last one left cutting shapes on the dance-floor and basically the “who brought that guy” guy, you care little about how people are looking at or judging you.

The reason for this is simply and purely because YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT. It is commonly known that alcohol is an inhibitor. A study done by Young and Hull called Self-Consciousness, Self-Esteem, and Success-Failure of Alcohol Consumption in Male Social Drinkers, detailed how alcohol interferes with the self-aware state, inhibiting our higher cognitive processes which give us relevant information we need and keep us behaving in a coordinated, respectable manner.

So without these higher cognitive processes we become a kook (uncoordinated) and we stop worrying about being a kook, therefore we continue to be one. We no longer have a concept of negative evaluation of ourselves.

Not only does alcohol inhibit our “care” factor it also inhibits our ability not to help? WHAT?!?!

Yes, a brilliant study done by Steele & Critchlow called Alcohol and Social Behaviour II: the Helpful Drunkard, explains that because alcohol is an inhibitor it inhibits our ability to see the negative side of helping. So, say for instance someone has fallen into the pool (in the middle of winter in Greenland?!) and can’t breathe, the guy that was previously walking into things and having a solo two-way conversation suddenly turns into a super hero and is the first into the pool to get that person out. He/she does not absorb the negative of how cold it will be to jump into that pool and how dangerous it may be for themselves.

Their fellow man is in trouble and they’ll be dammed if they get hurt on their watch.

Steele &  Critchlow found the following equation: higher intoxication + higher need for help = a more helpful drunkard.

Although there are of course negative reasons to being the next Chuck Norris, it is nice to know that not all people that drink alcohol are going to go start fights, knock off letterboxes or do a runner from the taxi. Some of us just want to jump into that pool and get our friend out.

Take it away Bill!


One Response to “Say Goodnight To Drinking……………”

  1. dylanbarker September 20, 2011 at 20:37 #


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